Asteroid Hairball

What if all the hair that is removed off of the human body by various procedures and methods was somehow all gathered together in one magic place; like a giant hair ball.

What if when the hair was swept down the drain, it did its thing traveling through all the interweaving pipes in the sewer system until it was grabbed by a super secret magnet that a very intelligent person had the foresight to place there, and then began to form a ball; like a rubberband ball it started with one strand of hair but as more and more strands got swept down the drain it became huger and huger, until we reach present day, and now... it is seriously huge.

It's not perfectly round at present though because engineers and architects keep building parts of their stuff underground, so its hampered a bit in the growing process and must conform to the space it has. However, the hairball is springy and will mold to the particular shape it is allowed until it regains full freedom and then it will go back to being round.

So, how will it go back to being round you ask, if its caught underground? Well that same genius who had the foresight to hide the special hair magnet in the sewer drain also had the foresight to rig a giant hair-grenade to launch that bad boy into space during the time after humans learn to live in space but prior to the apocalypse. The rig is remote controlled with a special timer; like I said the dude is a genius.

Then, all humans can go live on the hair ball in space after they have killed the earth. Moral of the futuristic postulation: Don't be green or you'll miss your opportunity to live on a giant hair ball in space - or - you'll be suffocated by the giant hair ball because there is only so much room underground.